Today I am just frustrated. I almost want to cry for my son. In fact, I probably will cry before this post is done. I haven't talked much about it because for the longest time Dylan, to us, has just been Dylan. He's sweet and loving and a nerd. And a klutz. And a little awkward. And we love him because he is so unique and fun.

But lately Dylan has really been struggling in school.  His teacher will tell you that he is extremely gifted, yet his grades do not reflect that at all.  He has an awful time writing. He can tell you the answer to anything you want to know, but if you ask him to write it, he will fail every time. And now, in the third quarter of 1st grade, they've started grading writing.

And it isn't fair.

I know, I'm his mom and I think that anything that messes with my son isn't fair, but it's just so frustrating. It doesn't just affect his writing capabilities  It carries over to math and science and anything else that requires him to write things down manually onto a piece of paper. Today he took a math test that we have studied for. He knew the answers. And yet he got a 51 on it. Why? Because it was timed and he has poor fine motor skills and he just can't keep up. And it breaks my heart.

I went to his teacher and talked to her AGAIN today because things just aren't getting better. She said that we can try to have him do things on the computer from now on if that is easiest. We'll see how that goes. I got a copy of the test he took today and I want to see if he can properly answer the questions in the allotted time if he can type them instead of write them. It's a start, at least.

So now that I've ranted, here's what else is going on. A few months ago Dylan just about completely stopped doing any school work that involved writing. He was getting distracted easily by other kids in his class. He has always been an unorganized forgetful child. He's very clumsy and his poor muscle tone. He tires easily. He can't tie his shoes. He struggles with things that seem simple sometimes. And it's frustrating. We took him to his pediatrician Wednesday and he was diagnosed with ADD. We aren't shocked by this. You have to call his name 4 or 5 times before he acknowledges you. He spaces out on the soccer pitch in the middle of a game and you have to remind him that he needs to be playing. You have to remind him to stay on task just about every other minute sometimes. It can be very frustrating. For us, and for him.

The pediatrician referred us to a Neurologist to look deeper into things. I don't know where this road will lead us, but I know I'm very ready to be on it. I am ready to have a better idea of what is going on with him. Not because it's going to change anything, but because it will be much easier to deal with if we know what it is we're dealing with.

Deep breath. Please pray with us that he isn't just pushed aside. Pray that the Dr. will really look hard at everything and do his best to give us some answers. Some suggestions. Anything. Because right now I feel helpless, and all I want  to do is help him to succeed, to be the best he can, and to not feel inferior because he struggles with things, and that it isn't his fault. He needs to know that it is not his fault.