I lie here listening to the fan, to the faint sound of the air conditioner running outside of our bedroom window. I hear the soft breathing of my husband, smell the scent of soap on his skin, still fresh from the shower. I see the light glimmering off my wedding bands, and my heart fills because honestly, it really doesn't get any better than this.
As I went to kiss my children goodnight, they were already asleep (it was Daddy's night to tuck them in). I crawled into the bed with them, pulling Dylan's headphones off. I could hear the faint melody, the acappella hymns he loves so much, and tears came to my eyes as I realized the choice he had made. The choice to fall asleep worshiping his God. My heart melts and breaks at the same time, knowing this moment won't last forever. I kissed them softly, brushed the hair out of their little eyes, and retreated to my room, sliding between the sheets, melting into the comfort.
God is amazing. I don't tell him, or you, or anyone else that enough. But he is.
I've been struggling spiritually, probably for a lot of reasons. But a lot of them, I know, are my own doing. But God is still amazing. And in my soul, I still know this, like I know the beating of my own heart. My prayer is that I will become a more purposeful person, not only in my spiritual life, but in everything. Because God has given me so much. So much. It's on me now.
I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a photographer. I'm a lover of Jesus. My house is a mess, my kids are dirty, we eat take out more often than not. My life is loud, busy and crazy. And that's okay with me.
This is Eric, the man you've been praying for. He's a paramedic. He quilts in his spare time. No, I couldn't make that up :) He has NASH (a form of liver disease, non-alcoholic) and diabetes, but those things don't define him. He's a man of God, an insanely wonderful husband, and the best daddy in the world.. Just ask these guys..
Our daughter Ali, she's 9. She's fiercely opinionated and strong willed. She's a Daddy's girl, but the umbilical cord hasn't but cut from me, either. She's a gymnast, and proud of it. She spends more time upside down or turning flips than she does walking. She's crazy smart, and absolutely sure of it. She is my insufferable little know it all.
Our son Dylan, 7. We lovingly refer to him as Chubs. Or Chubby. Or fat boy. Ahem. He is all boy, as you can see by his crazy wild energy. He has the highest pain tolerance of any child I have ever met. He plays soccer and does gymnastics, but truly he is a gamer, a nerd. He is an avid reader and loves to climb. Not to be outdone by his sister, he's a drama king, but to him, I'm the best mommy in the world.
I'm here to use my voice. So many people can't. In a world of darkness, I just want to help God's light to shine through. I pray that my words are His, and my love is His, as well. This is my journey through the darkness. To start are the beginning of the story, click here.