To say I wouldn't marry him if I knew then what I know now would be a lie. However, I can say that I was totally and completely unprepared for the road this marriage has brought us down.
Being the spouse of a public servant is very much like being a military spouse. Now I'm not saying that my husband being gone for 2 or 3 days is anything compared to yours being gone for a year, but it has its challenges.
Today is a day that I just feel completely overwhelmed. I often say that I didn't get married to be a single parent, but the actuality of it is that I am, in most ways, a single parent. It's hard. It's stressful. There are times when I find it very hard to not be bitter.
Being a paramedic's wife has also brought a heck of a lot of into this house. For instance:
At the dinner table we talk about codes and car accidents and whining drunks.
When our kids get hurt the first question is "are you bleeding?" If the answer is no then "You're fine."
If the answer is yes then we reply with something like "Don't get it on the carpet!"
Also, "If you break your leg I am NOT driving you to the Emergency room" is frequently heard in this house.
Fridays generally mean nothing to us, as our weekends are basically when daddy's home.
We can't watch medical shows of any sort because we spend the entire time going "Oh come on YOU DO NOT SHOCK ASYSTOLE!"
I started this post hours ago when I was worn down from dealing with the kids all afternoon alone and trying to get the house cleaned and laundry done and get everyone ready to go to church by seven, but now I'm actually in a much better place. So here's the main confession from this paramedic's wife.
Our life is not conventional. We make little money and have only halfway decent benefits. Our children have insane medical vocabularies and twisted senses of humor, and unless they are dying, get no sympathy from us. We laugh at the most inappropriate moments, live apart half the time, and probably seem crazy to everyone around us. But it works for us. So I guess that's okay.
You know, now that I'm not cussing my husband for leaving me home with these two hoodlums for 3 days straight :D
I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a photographer. I'm a lover of Jesus. My house is a mess, my kids are dirty, we eat take out more often than not. My life is loud, busy and crazy. And that's okay with me.
This is Eric, the man you've been praying for. He's a paramedic. He quilts in his spare time. No, I couldn't make that up :) He has NASH (a form of liver disease, non-alcoholic) and diabetes, but those things don't define him. He's a man of God, an insanely wonderful husband, and the best daddy in the world.. Just ask these guys..
Our daughter Ali, she's 9. She's fiercely opinionated and strong willed. She's a Daddy's girl, but the umbilical cord hasn't but cut from me, either. She's a gymnast, and proud of it. She spends more time upside down or turning flips than she does walking. She's crazy smart, and absolutely sure of it. She is my insufferable little know it all.
Our son Dylan, 7. We lovingly refer to him as Chubs. Or Chubby. Or fat boy. Ahem. He is all boy, as you can see by his crazy wild energy. He has the highest pain tolerance of any child I have ever met. He plays soccer and does gymnastics, but truly he is a gamer, a nerd. He is an avid reader and loves to climb. Not to be outdone by his sister, he's a drama king, but to him, I'm the best mommy in the world.
I'm here to use my voice. So many people can't. In a world of darkness, I just want to help God's light to shine through. I pray that my words are His, and my love is His, as well. This is my journey through the darkness. To start are the beginning of the story, click here.