I come to you with a heavy heart tonight. I never thought I was one of 'those' moms. You know, that mom who loses her kid in the grocery store and doesn't even realize it. The mom whose kid almost drowns at the local pool and random strangers have the child pulled out of the pool before the mom even realizes what's going on. That mom. I was so wrong. I've come to the conclusion that we can all be that mom. In a split second they can slip away, and it can be too late. My heart breaks as I'm writing this.
Today was a normal day. A fun day. After all, it's Halloween. We had it all planned out. A family from church was having a party and we were all going to go. My husband had to work but 'S' was here and was going with us. We decided to 'dress up' for the party. I dressed 'S' as me, and I dressed as her. If you knew us, this would be hilarious. I'm a laid back, jeans and cute shirt kind of mom, and 'S' is, well, Goth. It was so much fun! She hated it a lot more than I did. Well, we were in my room getting dressed. I was painting my toenails black when the kids asked if they could play in the back yard and I said yes. The kids play in our yard ALL THE TIME. They never wander, 'A's umbilical cord hasn't been cut yet, for Pete's sake! And she's the biggest tattle ever, so I knew that she'd come tell me if 'D' did anything he wasn't supposed to. But today, today was different.
About 15 minutes after they asked if they could go outside 'A' came back in. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. I assumed 'D' came with her and that he was watching T.V. in the living room. I realize. I know. I shake my head as I think about it. I never should have let them go outside. I never should have taken my eye off of them for a second. I know. Please, understand that I know. But for your sake and everyone else's I'm telling this story so that this doesn't happen to anyone else. 'A' asked if I could do her hair and I said yes. She said down and I said 'where is your brother?' 'I don't' know'. Great. I started to do her hair, but something in my gut said no, go find him now. I don't know what it was, but something said I should go find him. Thank the Lord that I did.
'S' went out the front door, I went out the back. No 'D'. I walked over to the neighbors bc 'A' had been over there twice and I figured he walked over there with her and didn't come back. Our kids drift back and forth a lot and I just figured he was playing with their little boy. I went and knocked on the door and asked if he was there, sure that the answer was yes. 'No, I haven't seen him'. My heart dropped. My soul shattered. I ran, screaming for him. I searched in the woods, we looked in the house under the beds in the closests. We looked everywhere. We looked in the cars, up and down the street. No 'D'. At this point panic has taken over my body. I can't think. I'm scream his name at the top of my lungs. 'S' was heading to her car to drive up and down the neighborhood to look for him. We thought that maybe he'd lost his mind and actually wandered off. Still, I didn't think that he had. They've never, ever wandered out of our yard farther than the neighbors house, and they're allowed to be there. I was sure someone had snatched him. I couldn't find my phone, I was ready to call 911. I was in pure panic.
All of a sudden 'S' said 'Stop. Shut up, I hear him'. I said 'No, you hear 'A' crying'. Before I knew anything, she had him in her arms, and I crumpled in relief. Last night when we came home she forgot to lock her car. 'D' crawled in her car, saw the yellow trunk button and thought 'hmm I should push that'. I can't tell you where his brain was going, but he apparently got out of the car, closed the door, crawled in the trunk and closed it. I don't know why he chose her car. Mine wasn't locked, either. I don't have a trunk, though, an SUV. How I wish he would have gotten in my car. I don't know what he was thinking, but there he was in all his glory. He was terrified. He was filthy and very warm and sweaty. He couldn't have been there long. It was 80 degrees outside today. All I could think was that had it been any hotter he'd be dead. And I'm that mom. I let my son disappear. I still can't believe it. I am at a loss. I just wanted to say LOCK YOUR CAR! Even if you live in the middle of no where and you aren't worried about someone breaking in and stealing it or taking things or whatever. Lock it. Always. I couldn't believe that he got into the trunk and closed it, but he could be gone right now. So please, for your babies, and every one elses lock your car.
I hate that I have this story to tell. I hate that I can say I lost my son. I hate that he was in danger and I hate that it's true. But it is. And I can't take it back. I didn't even think of the danger. I didn't. In Fl it's a danger. But it's October here, it shouldn't be a danger here. But it got hot. And it is. Any longer and the outcome could have been very, very different. So please, hear me on this. Lock your cars.
I'm emotionally exhausted. I have so much more to say. I don't want to take away from the importance of this post, so I'm going to wait a while before I tell the rest of my Halloween story. But please, please lock your cars always!
I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a photographer. I'm a lover of Jesus. My house is a mess, my kids are dirty, we eat take out more often than not. My life is loud, busy and crazy. And that's okay with me.
This is Eric, the man you've been praying for. He's a paramedic. He quilts in his spare time. No, I couldn't make that up :) He has NASH (a form of liver disease, non-alcoholic) and diabetes, but those things don't define him. He's a man of God, an insanely wonderful husband, and the best daddy in the world.. Just ask these guys..
Our daughter Ali, she's 9. She's fiercely opinionated and strong willed. She's a Daddy's girl, but the umbilical cord hasn't but cut from me, either. She's a gymnast, and proud of it. She spends more time upside down or turning flips than she does walking. She's crazy smart, and absolutely sure of it. She is my insufferable little know it all.
Our son Dylan, 7. We lovingly refer to him as Chubs. Or Chubby. Or fat boy. Ahem. He is all boy, as you can see by his crazy wild energy. He has the highest pain tolerance of any child I have ever met. He plays soccer and does gymnastics, but truly he is a gamer, a nerd. He is an avid reader and loves to climb. Not to be outdone by his sister, he's a drama king, but to him, I'm the best mommy in the world.
I'm here to use my voice. So many people can't. In a world of darkness, I just want to help God's light to shine through. I pray that my words are His, and my love is His, as well. This is my journey through the darkness. To start are the beginning of the story, click here.