I don't remember the last time I felt this good great!. I don't know why, really. Today hasn't been a great day. We got the results of my husbands liver biopsy and they weren't great. I don't even think they were good. His liver disease is advancing, which explains the pain, but they're unsure as to why it is progressing so fast. It's only been 3 years since his diagnosis, and he's already forming fibrosis.

I had to let my baby girl go off to school today. I had to leave her, and spend 8 hours away from her, and I wasn't even the one to pick her up. It's very hard for me to relinquish that control. I have spent the last 5 years knowing every move she made. And now, all of a sudden, I don't have any control over what she does, over who says what to her. It's very.. hard to deal with.

One of my best friends, 'A' had her baby on the first, and I too sick to even be able to go see her. I'm not at all happy about that :( Sniff.

And yeah, there are things I'm not mentioning here. And they're big, bad, and ugly.

And yet here I am. Okay. I'm in a good mood. I feel at peace. I feel happy. This afternoon I mowed the grass, something I've not personally done since I was about 14. It brought back good memories. Memories of spending time with my Daddy, him teaching me how to do all the things he knew. I was his baby girl, but he treated me like one of the boys. I loved it. He took me fishing and taught me how to check my oil in my car. He taught me how to build things. The summer before my freshman year of high school he and I built a huge deck in our back yard. It took us two weeks because, well, it was hot, and I was doing most of the work. I think he wanted me to learn how to do it on my own. He is such a patient man.

I don't know how I got on that particular topic, but in case you didn't know, I love my Daddy. I don't talk about my parents much. But I love my Daddy. I have always been, and will always be a Daddy's girl.

Anyhow, my kids are sitting at the table eating dinner. I'm blogging, because it just feels good to blog about nothing in particular, and being happy. And for the first time in a long time, I'm content. I don't know how long it will last. But it feels good.

3 Responses
  1. Lyr Says:

    That's so GOOD! I mean, not with all the bad thing that have been happening but good that your spirits are up! Praise God!!

    BTW - I realize you tried to facebook chat me with me when I signed back on later... I'm sorry! I would have loved to talk to you. Hope we can do it sometimes soon!

  2. Katie Says:

    it is refreshing to hear that you're doing so well, girl....

    and don't worry-I guarantee your little one is being taken care of just FINE in school :)

  3. victoria Says:

    Glad you are feeling good and I know what you mean about your little girl going to school! My youngest (4yo) is in full time kindergarten this year and it's quite an adjustment.

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  • I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a photographer. I'm a lover of Jesus. My house is a mess, my kids are dirty, we eat take out more often than not. My life is loud, busy and crazy. And that's okay with me.
    This is Eric, the man you've been praying for. He's a paramedic. He quilts in his spare time. No, I couldn't make that up :) He has NASH (a form of liver disease, non-alcoholic) and diabetes, but those things don't define him. He's a man of God, an insanely wonderful husband, and the best daddy in the world.. Just ask these guys..
    Our daughter Ali, she's 9. She's fiercely opinionated and strong willed. She's a Daddy's girl, but the umbilical cord hasn't but cut from me, either. She's a gymnast, and proud of it. She spends more time upside down or turning flips than she does walking. She's crazy smart, and absolutely sure of it. She is my insufferable little know it all.
    Our son Dylan, 7. We lovingly refer to him as Chubs. Or Chubby. Or fat boy. Ahem. He is all boy, as you can see by his crazy wild energy. He has the highest pain tolerance of any child I have ever met. He plays soccer and does gymnastics, but truly he is a gamer, a nerd. He is an avid reader and loves to climb. Not to be outdone by his sister, he's a drama king, but to him, I'm the best mommy in the world.