3 Steps Back

I woke up this morning hopeful. I took the children to school and rested a while longer before it was time to head to the doctor. I walked in the office, my head pounding, hoping for some answers, hoping for anything.

I went into the room and sat down, hoping the he would come in and discuss things with me, give me an idea of where to go from here.  Instead, he came in, gave me my shots, and shook my hand and said I was all done.  I politely asked him about the MRI results and he told me that what they found was Arnold Chiari Malformation, and he explained again what it does.  Then I asked the big question: What can be done about it?

He smiled and said oh no, nothing to be done.  This isn't what's causing your migraines, it's just something that's there that we found by accident.

All I could feel was deflated.  I tried to blink away the tears and smile and nod, my brain too addled to even think of questions as he hurried me out the door.  I drove home in tears.  I'll be honest, I kinda lost it.  We're back to square one.  Back to nothing.  No answers, no plans to move forward.  

It's just migraines.

After I got home I realized that I'd not told him about all of the other symptoms that I have.  None of them seemed relevant before, they just didn't seem connected, but now they make perfect sense.  Today he didn't give me time to really talk about anything.  My actual follow up appointment isn't until the 19th of November, but I'm hoping to talk to him sooner rather than later.

Tomorrow I'll have the second MRI to check for a Syrinx, which is a pocket of spinal fluid that can build up and cause issues.  About 15% of people with ACM develop a Syrinx, and if I don't have one, and he isn't convinced the other symptoms are being caused by the Chiari, then we're back to nothing.

I let myself be sad today, and honestly the shots make my neck very sore and stiff so I slept a lot, too, but tomorrow is a new day.  I plan to get the report from the first MRI tomorrow so I'll have a better idea of what's going on, and then if after the 3rd round of nerve blocks and the rest of the tests are complete and we're still no where, then we'll get a second opinion.  Right now I'm just prayerful.  Praying to be thankful, to be faithful, to be positive.  Just praying for answers.  Please, please pray with me.

Love to all,
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