Every Wednesday night we have dinner at the church building. To be honest with ya'll, I didn't really feel up to socializing tonight. We got there fairly early and I was done eating by the time most of the people were getting there. My kids were still eating, and I told them I would be back in a minute. Our kitchen is downstairs in the basement, and I walked upstairs into the empty sanctuary. It was storming outside, I could hear the rain slapping against the windows. I sat down in the front, and started to sing. I was singing a song I had written when Dylan was a baby. I used to rock him to sleep every night, singing this same song to the Lord. I just finished the second verse a few months ago, which is odd for me bc I almost always write everything in one sitting. Anyhow. I was singing this song, not loudly bc I knew if anyone came in they would hear me, and I didn't want to be disturbed. I was crying, singing, and about halfway through the second verse I just stopped singing and said, without thinking, 'I feel you'. I was going to finish singing, but I said 'I know you're there, I can feel you'. I then got up and walked into one of the classrooms and opened a Bible to Psalm 69, and cried for a few minutes.

I needed to cry. Tonight, it seems like God is crying too. It has been raining here all day, and though I like a rainy day, this was like a hurricane. And in the middle of this monsoon, my muse sat on my shoulder. And this is what we got:


The wind is howling.
The storms are raging.
There is fire in the sky, and fear in my eyes,
But I feel you.
Yes I feel you.

My heart is breaking.
My soul is aching.
But even through the pain, though the tears fall like rain
I can feel you
Yes I feel you.

And while I walk alone on this road towards home,
I hear you call my name.
And though the winds will blow, I'll always know
You'll ever be the same.
You're my rock, my strength
You're the air I breathe
My shelter from the rain.
You're all I see.
I'm on my knees,
Lord take me through this pain.