Not My Child!

Welcome to this special edition of Not Me! Monday where we get to pretend that our kids are perfect, because really we all know they are! haha

So. It is most certainly not my children who refuse to sleep in their own beds. It is also not my children who don't pretty much refuse to sleep, at all. When I heard the tv on in my daughter's room the other night at midnight, I assumed they had fallen asleep with it on, and I went in to turn it off. When I did my son most certainly did not just wait until I went to bed, go into his room and turn his tv on and stay up until God only knows when watching tv. He isn't three.

The other day my daughter came into the living room crying. She said 'my brother hit me in the face!' I told her to tell him to come here. My daughter did not proceed to walk into the bedroom and say 'mommy wants to give you hugs and kisses' knowing he was in trouble. She would never be that manipulative or take so much joy in her brother's discipline!

My son is not the boy who plays in the charcoal in the grill at least once a week. He doesn't pain his toenails purple all on his own. he doesn't sleep in his sister's nightgowns. He doesn't sit in the bathtub and pour water out all over the bathroom floor. He never ever writes on anything but paper. He always obeys when I tell him to do something the first time. He doesn't spend half his day in the corner. He isn't mischievous, he doesn't get into everything. He isn't going to turn my hair all gray before I'm 30.

As we were praying in church one day my daughter didn't say very loudly 'I farted...' Followed by 'OH THAT STINKS'. The entire congregation didn't stifle laughter as the poor man praying finished up. As soon as he said amen, the whole church didn't erupt into laughter, which she just thought was hysterical. My daughter is a little lady and would never ever talk about such things in public!

Okay so now I'm just starting to embarrass myself:) I'm sure my friends could think up a lot more funny things that I know my kids didn't do, but for now, I need to run. Have fun laughing at my goobers.

2 Responses
  1. Katie Says:

    those were so funny :))

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  • I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a photographer. I'm a lover of Jesus. My house is a mess, my kids are dirty, we eat take out more often than not. My life is loud, busy and crazy. And that's okay with me.
    This is Eric, the man you've been praying for. He's a paramedic. He quilts in his spare time. No, I couldn't make that up :) He has NASH (a form of liver disease, non-alcoholic) and diabetes, but those things don't define him. He's a man of God, an insanely wonderful husband, and the best daddy in the world.. Just ask these guys..
    Our daughter Ali, she's 9. She's fiercely opinionated and strong willed. She's a Daddy's girl, but the umbilical cord hasn't but cut from me, either. She's a gymnast, and proud of it. She spends more time upside down or turning flips than she does walking. She's crazy smart, and absolutely sure of it. She is my insufferable little know it all.
    Our son Dylan, 7. We lovingly refer to him as Chubs. Or Chubby. Or fat boy. Ahem. He is all boy, as you can see by his crazy wild energy. He has the highest pain tolerance of any child I have ever met. He plays soccer and does gymnastics, but truly he is a gamer, a nerd. He is an avid reader and loves to climb. Not to be outdone by his sister, he's a drama king, but to him, I'm the best mommy in the world.